This semester, I am taking Family Management and Parenting as the co-curricular course. As usual, there must be group presentation. However, in this course, instead of presenting a topic given, we have a kind of debate about a particular topic. My group had been chosen as the first group to argue for a topis while one group will argue against the same topic. Unfortunately, the topic is "I have no problem to conduct polygamy", which is obviously a very controversial issue especially to women. Most of us(women) are not willing to accept polygamy. The reason is polygamy tend to show unloyalty of husband towards his wife. This is the main reason, I think.
As the first group, we had already conducted the debate just now. As a group that argue for or maybe pretending to have no problem with polygamy, we had try our best by giving the Quranic verses and other points that show our standpoint. Among our points were:
1) If a man will be able to treat his wives equally, he is permitted to conduct polygamy.
2) Polygamy is important to avoid husband cheating behind his wife as well as do prohibited things such as conduct adultery.
3) In cases such as the wife is barren or the wife is chronically ill, the solution may be allowing her husband to marry another woman.
4) The number of females are more than males. therfore, polygamy may provide solution to decrease the number of unmarried women.
But of course, the opposition has their own points that we felt quite strong and hard for us to counter back. Some of their points that "attack"us were:
1) How a woman feel when her husband want to mary another woman.
2) The children will be negleted by their father as their father has limited time with them.
3) Woman can stay with the barren husband, but why man cannot stay with his barren wife.
As for me, in my very personal opinion. I have no problem if my future husband want to conduct polygamy, but in certain condition:
a) My future husband is really love another woman and I cant do nothing to stop the feeling. the best way is to allow him to marry the woman.
b) I surely believe that he will be able to treat all his wives equally, in terms of external aspect such as food, drink, clothing and so on.
c) In those cases mentioned above (ill or barren).
Maybe most of women out there not agree with me. but, NOW, that is what I feel and believe. in future, I dont know. This is because we cannot predict what will happen in future. Maybe I dont has any experience and feeling towards any guy yet. So I believe in this. But above that, we must remember that POLYGAMY IS PERMITTED IN ISLAM and ALLAH as the Creator and the Most All-Knowing must has reason why polygamy is permitted. Like Dr Rizal(our instructor) said just now, polygamy is the solution of the many problems now such as adultery, outnumber of females and so on.
Another thing is, when we love someone, we need to sacrifice for our love. Instead of letting our husbands doing adultery behind us, why not we sacrifice our love and let them marry another woman. This show our love to our husband. Above all, we may get many benefits. Besides get blessing from Allah, we can save our husbands from doing things againsts Islam. Of couse the feeling of unsatisfy and jealousy must be there, but if polygamy is the only way left, we need to accept it.
3 years ago